Monthly Archives: February 2009

Here are the rules:

Link to the person who has tagged you.
Write down six things that make you happy.
Post the rules, tag six others and let them know you did it.
Then tell the person when your entry is complete.

6 things that make me happy:

1. The smell of a lemon pound cake baking in my oven

2. Mail in my mailbox

3. Personal email in my inbox

4. A visit from a friend

5. Getting a new bike

6. Dallas saying I love you, even if we said it first and he’s just repeating

I tag Angi, Amy, Andrea, Siobhan, Stefanie and Vanesa.

So for the last week and a half I’ve been planning our meals. I am not very talented when it comes to being a housewife, and my family has a good laugh at my expense on that matter.
But ever since Ben started to work, our schedule changed. See, he works within walking distance of our apartment, meaning he comes over for lunch every day. And it’s a good kick in the ass for me, since my idea of eating consists of getting in the car and going out, but we have to be realistic. We live in a damn expensive city (our own fault) and the economy sucks ass (not our personal fault). So I have to cook.
Last week went very well, I sat down on Sunday night with a pile of my magazines (I better make use of them or the hubby is not going to like how much I spend on magazines each month), a piece of paper and I wrote down recipes for lunch and dinner and the ingredients I would need to buy at the store.
And when the week was over I discovered something. Ready? Are you sure? Brace yourself…
I LIKE TO COOK.
Holy shit. Did I just say that I enjoyed myself working in the kitchen?
I sure did. It was great to combine ingredients, watch how it came together and serve a decent plate of food in front of my family. It felt great. I haven’t decided which one I enjoy most; cooking or baking (yes, there is a difference). For now I’m leaning towards baking. But last night’s dish was steering me in the other direction. I made this

And man, was that good! You can get the recipe here.

So next Sunday I’ll be sitting down with a piece of paper, a pile of magazines and my computer looking for recipes. Care to share a favorite recipe?

We have lots and lots of pictures of Conner. But we only have 1 video that my dad shot of him and for that I’ll be forever grateful to him. It’s only a few minutes here and there of the last 6 months of his life and because of the way it’s recorded it makes it look like he was with us only for a few hours, not almost 2 years.
I had this urge this morning to watch that video, and I can’t believe how beautiful he is, how much he loved his slinky, playing with a piece of paper, his smile. But it also reminds me of how much pain he was in, and it hurts me now. Every time he coughed, I just stayed in place, why didn’t I do something, change the position he was in, or pick him up from that uncomfortable hospital bed, or something? Why didn’t someone tell me that in 6 months I would lose him? I would have held him every second I had left, I would have done anything to make him more comfortable, to let him know I was there, that I loved him with all my heart…
One second he’s lying in his crib at my parents house, the next my dad my brother, Ben and his siblings are serving as pallbearers. It’s not fair, IT’S NOT FAIR!!!!!!
It hurts… too much.

So I go by Tami, Tam, Tams but the weirdest one is Tamira. You see, when I was 20 years old I worked at Micky Ds. On a very stressful and busy dinner rush one of my coworkers tried to get my attention by calling my name. She tried to say Tamara and Tami at the same time but got stuck, so Tamira came out, we had a good laugh and it stayed.

It's incredibly long and the writing so hard to understand, but I promised myself to read it one day. It'll take me a long time, but I'll start and finish it.

This all started in Facebook and it’s gotten so popular that even the Times wrote an article about it.

So here are mine, and they’re 20. I’ve been writing this entry since last night Internet, give me a break. And enjoy.

1. I’ve never broken a bone in my life (so far)

2. I am both a morning person and a night owl. I wake up with tons of energy and I can stay up well past midnight and somehow wake up ready to start the day.

3. My favorite candy is York Peppermint Patties

4. When I was 20 I wrecked my Mitsubishi Galant by going too fast on a curvy road. Ever since that day I get very anxious whenever I have to drive or be driven through a curvy road, like a canyon road. Terrified.

5. I am obsessed with magazines, but somehow I don’t like to keep them. I’ll go to B&N and buy 3-4 at a time plus the 5 I get on a monthly basis. A month or so later, I’ll go through them, rip the articles I like, and toss the rest.

6. I like the smell of a dentist’s office. So much that for a long time I kept telling people that I was going to be a dentist when I grew up.

7. I’ve never gotten a manicure or a pedicure. Not even for my wedding.

8. I was on a TV game show when I was a senior in high school. The grand prize was a skying trip. We lost, but we had an awesome time.

9. For a while there I was a die hard X Files fan.

10. I’m a Facebook whore.

11. I have the really bad habit of peeling the skin off my lips. I can’t help it. I can’t stop even when I’m wearing lipstick. Very feminine if you ask me.

12. I’ve been extremely frustrated with my hair style for years now. I have no idea what goes with my face shape, with my eye color. But I can tell you what doesn’t go with them. Every single haircut I’ve gotten so far.

13. I’m a Twilight whore. But on a 28 year old level, not a 13 year old level.

14. My worst fear came true on January 2nd, 2005, when doctors discovered there was something very wrong with my son’s health. That fear became even worse when he passed away 23 months later.

15. My first job was as a secretary for my uncle who is a lawyer. I loved it, but it didn’t ignite any law school sparks. Thank God.

16. I have a tattoo on my left wrist (which I’d love to show you but I don’t have a picture of it in this computer) and I want to get 2 more.

17. One of my projects in the years to come is to create a foundation in Conner’s name. And we will raise funds for families who stay at hospitals with their sick children for extended periods of time.

18. Since I gave up the dream of dentistry (#6) I decided I want to be a Nurse Practitioner. The nurses who took care of Conner were wonderful teachers, even if they didn’t know it. In my eyes, Nursing is such a noble career.

19. Every time I pick up something, anything from a shelf at a store I never grab the first one closest to me. Everyone touches that first item. Blech. I always go to the 4th or 5th one behind it. Always.

20. Ever since we moved to the Bay Area, I’ve been terrified of earthquakes and tsunamis. Terrified. We have 72hr kits in the apartment and the car and we know what to do, but I don’t know what to expect when they come and natural disasters are no joke.

I’ll come back with the last 5 some other time.

I am the proud owner of the equivalent of a high school diploma. I deserve a good smack in the back of the head for getting it 10 years after I “finished” high school, but after all the crap I’ve been through I gotta say I’m a little proud of myself. I can actually start dreaming of one day cleaning up blood and vomit coming from a complete stranger. Awesome.