R&R
March 22, 2009
Tomorrow I’m loading a toddler, a bunch of crap and myself in the car and heading for the Rocky Mountains. I’m spending 2 very needed weeks with my family and my friends (here I go, Ang!) so posting here will be close to non-existent.
You’re probably thinking: “So, whenever you didn’t updated your blog for 2 or more weeks you were on VACATION?” No, I’m just very lazy went it comes to blogging, thankyouverymuch.
See ya in 2 weeks, Internet, don’t miss me too much.
Tami
I know EXACTLY what they’re talking about
March 22, 2009
Yesterday I read this post and I started to think how much (sadly) I can relate to it.
Because everything changed for me on November 3rd, 2006.
Conner, Dallas and I were at Primary Children’s Medical Center, in one of our many stays. We were waiting for Ben to come home to the hospital, and it was getting late, and still no Ben. So I called a few times with no response. I was getting a bit worried. A few minutes later, a nurse pokes her head in and tell me: “there’s a fire marshall on the phone, he says that there was an accident at your house”.
NO.
So I talk to the fire marshall, he tells me that my house burned down and my husband was inside. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This must be a sick joke. Who gets a call like that? No, my husband was on his way to me, to his family, this can’t be. He tells me that he’s being airlifted to the hospital next door, that he should be there in about 15 minutes. I think I got that call at around 8pm. I didn’t see him until 11pm. At 10pm I watched the news from the Burn Unit waiting room. The first story of the newscast was mine. I was looking at my house on TV, or what was left of it. It felt surreal.
I remember one day while Ben was still at the hospital when his social worker came up to me and asked me how was I doing. I told her: “I just can’t deal with me right now, I have too many things going on to focus on my feelings and needs”. That’s how I moved for days, numb, in shock, on autopilot. Even though I had help from family and friends, it was too much for one person to take.
3 weeks after the fire Ben left the hospital and we settled in an apartment in Salt Lake since Conner was spending more and more time at the hospital. Those days were just awful. Ben was still healing, physically and emotionally, he had therapy, his wounds needed care, he was dealing with PTSD. Then there was Conner, who was not doing well, so fragile. And Dallas, a newborn.
Another memory: driving back home from the house (or again, what was left of it), I started to cry. All this anger came onto me, anger towards whoever did this to us, changed us in a second, took all of our possesions. Our first house, the house I spent the first years as a married woman, the house we brought our 2 children from the hospital, it was all gone.
Then December came and changed my world once again, and this time I had an even harder time seeing a silver lining in all of it.
But after many many months I started to see it, just a little bit. My husband is here with me, I have a beautiful son who pulled me through. And even though Conner was no longer with us (physically) he is in our hearts, in our minds and he doesn’t suffer. Life can change in a second, can turn everything upside down. That sweet baby of mine taught me to face it the best I can and then keep going.
So that’s what I’m doing.
Not Me! Monday!
March 16, 2009
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
I did not wake up at 6:30am just because I’m so excited to go to Utah next Monday. I will not do it every day this week.
Dallas did not sleep later than usual, not the one morning I’m up with the chickens. (That’s a saying we have in Argentina, does it exist here too?)
I did not go to Target yesterday and bought 2 sets of Hot Wheels for the upcoming road trip (I’m driving on my own with Dallas) to make the drive easier, knowing that half of those cars will be forever lost within a few hours. I will not go back in a few days to buy more…
I will not serve leftovers from the weekend for lunch just because I was too lazy to go to the grocery store this morning. I would never do that.
NOT ME!
Post baby-baby Body
March 9, 2009
Last week on Momversation this topic came up.
If you take a look at the title of this post, I put the word “baby” twice. Because I never really got rid of the baby weight of the 1st one. Now, I was skinny, Internet. I look at pictures of me of say, 5 years ago and I was thin. But in my stupid little mind I wasn’t. And now I want to sucker punch my old self in the face, and tell her: “You think you’re fat now? Why don’t you go ahead and wait just 5 years and see how fat can you get? This is heaven sweetheart, enjoy it while you can.”
So I watch that video and I couldn’t agree more with the panelists. With my first pregnancy I was so happy that I didn’t have those horrible stretch marks, until one day on my 3rd trimester, when I looked at my belly in a big mirror and they there were. And I discovered that it wasn’t that I never had them, it was that I couldn’t SEE them. That was a sad day for me.
With the 2nd one, the stretch marks got even worse, because they picked up right were the old ones ended and they became even BIGGER. I was horrified. But there is nothing I can do to make those dissapear, so now I look at them as little reminders of those 2 beautiful babies I once had inside me.
The weight is something I don’t understand. I mean, what is this? I give birth to an 8 lb. baby and the 22 lbs. stay? That’s not the deal! Kid, you brought the extra pillows with you, they go with you too!! Here’s my logic: I gain 30 lbs. in 9 months, I give birth to a 30 lb. baby. It would have made Page One of the National Enquirer, but dammitt, I stay thin!!
Sometimes life brings dissapointments with it. Sigh.
My wallet and many other things travel with me
March 4, 2009
my wallet
because I need money and plastic!
SF moleskine
it's great to get around a city I'm not very familiar with yet, it has maps and space to write down whatever I want.
sunglasses
I like to block the sun from my eyes
reusable bag
for unexpected shopping stops
Entertainmetn coupon book
You never know when you'll need a coupon!
Purell Hand Sanitizer
No one wants to get sick with all the crap going around
Kleenex
I gotta blow my nose once in a while. No one wants to see my boogers!
Organic lip balm
My lips are terribly dry and I like to pick the skin off. Gross.
cell phone
What if I need to make a call? I'm not touching those nasty pay phones! Although I do have hand sanitizer. Nah, one little bottle wouldn't do the job.
I blog about married life, motherhood, being a CNA, living in San Francisco, trying not to forget Castellano and living after child loss. 
