Looked Good On Paper

And it’ll stay that way for another 2 or 3 weeks. Tomorrow I’m taking the test that will allow me to answer in this manner when asked what do I do for a living: “I’m a CNA”.
I’m nervous (who isn’t?) and my husband and mom have blind confidence that I’m going to ace the test. I’m trying to think like them, I really am. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Then we have Ben’s good friend Kelly that’s visiting for a few days and the week after that my family is coming over.
I’ll come back.
Eventually.

On Sunday we went out for a drive. First we ended up on Baker Beach, on the west side of the Golden Gate Bridge. The sand was warm, there were people (even a bride and groom!) everywhere, just enjoying a Sunday afternoon.

Then we found the way up to Twin Peaks. It has the most amazing views of the whole city. It must be awesome at night.

You can even see the Pride Flag to the left of the date on the picture! That’s the Castro neighborhood. Like I said, beautiful City.

Here’s me in my Student uniform, the first day of my clinical.

Turns out we had to do 1 more week at the Nursing Center. I feel more confident in there, and that’s a relief! I’m so glad I’m enjoying what involves to take care of the elderly, they are very nice people.

In blog news, I changed the About Me page. I figured if it’s to find out things about me, you might as well see what my handwriting looks like, right? Have a great week everyone!

…my brain functions again. I passed my CNA theory test on Friday. I was more than ready for it, I’ve been studying really hard and I’m glad I passed. Now the fun part starts. The clinical. *shudders*. I’ll tell you how it goes. I start tomorrow night.

If you call running around a 2 year old boy a “vacation”. I guess what I mean by that is that my stay at home mom status changes tonight.

Internet, in 2 months I’ll be a Certified Nursing Assistant. And I’m scared, nervous, anxious, I wanna puke, etc., etc.

The last job I held ended when I was 3 months pregnant with Dallas (if you don’t count the little cleaning stint I had in Wyoming last year) and I’m kinda rusty, you see. That’s why I’m nervous. Even more because I’ve never been in college (although I wouldn’t call this course college, but you know what I mean). I finished high school in 1998 and I let 10 years go by without doing anything about it. Well, that was bound to change.

For the first time since Conner passed on, I’m getting involved in health care. I don’t remember much of his cares anymore, how I used to get his medications ready in the morning if we happen to be at home. Or how I used to clean the skin around his feeding tube, making sure it wouldn’t get infected, and so many other things. This time I’m going to be on the other side. Instead of being the parent of a patient, learning how to take care of him, I’ll be the person teaching a parent, I’ll be looking over someone’s health (for a few hours at a time). And that makes me even more nervous.  But I guess people who start the health care journey have these type of feelings, and I hope I enjoy it, I hope I do a good job.

The nurses who took care of Conner were so well trained, so caring, they had sincere interest in us, in him. They loved him. And since then I thought: “I want to do that, I want to be like them, I want to care for other people like they did for my son. I want to make them as at home as you can be at a hospital, which is no easy task, but I really want to.”

So, I’ll be back in a day or two and tell you all about it. I hope I can remember the reasons why I’m doing this, basically I’m doing this for me, and for him.

Wish me luck.

I guess I’m running into a bit of blogger’s block so I’m just going to post some pictures of my beautiful Conner. I hope you like them.

I love him so much